Usually victims of abuse feel that the abuse is their fault. I can see how victims would rather love them and defend them, etc. Abusers will always put the blame on others "You made me hit you... I didn't want to.... why can't you just do what I say?"

Don't people do that every day in romantic relationships? Even parental abuse as well.
Tons of men and women are abused by people they love and then they dismiss it as "well I deserve it". They don't view it as abuse so much as "necessary punishment" for their inadequacy.

This is a lot of what I deal with being a life coach. Helping people, repressed or not, deal with the abuse and how it isn't their fault.