Morning Patrycia,


I always feels as though my nappy has been filled when it's like this, but on the upside it bleaches my hair blond and it's free. Seeing as how I still have a full head of hair and only a small wisp of grey I'm making the best of it.


Yes it is and it's affected him quite deeply. He also has a bit of a temper and no filters, something will get his goat and he'll flair up and shout his mouth of without thinking. And sometimes it can be threatening stuff, also it's just him spouting off.

I was in the against child abuse arena for a few years but that all imploded, probably a good thing really.


Right, all of that makes sense. Both my parents were my parents in that first Life too, which is the three. I've spoken to a few others about the same thing and two close relatives/parents seems to be a pattern, there's often a trio along the way somewhere. What I was getting at the time was you in the front, your Nan on the right behind you and your mum on the left. The right usually signifies either male or strength.

Thinking back, I used to have a folder where I'd keep loose leafs of handwritten paper, it began in the mid-nineties but I felt almost compelled to write it all down. I went through a bit of a bad period in my Life which brought about quite a turnaround for the better and later I was told that at that time there were 'changes in Spirit'. No details but it was curious. I spoke to two other people who said the same thing, their notes had gone. I;m not going to make anything out of other than a curiosity though.

Whistling is a dying art, I can't remember the last time I heard someone whistle, other than a wolf-whistle. And I don't think I've heard a female whistle either for even longer. Whether there's a physiology thing going on or not I don't know but it's certainly unusual.

I think more of your early days is going to come to you, but not always about the trauma - if they haven't already. I know we've talked about some of it but this is going to be very different.

I think you're right about it not being so much about the numbers themselves, by the look of it it's about the frequency. There's a steady progression up to 13:43 then it's all over the place, as though there's a pattern emerging then it's lost. Curious it happens at the 13 mark. By the way, 13 isn't an unlucky number but it signifies something much more - twelve plus one.


I'm getting strong emotions too for no reason, seemingly. We were watching Merlin (her idea lol), I like to slob for a while after work and that's as good a way as any. It was an episode about a dragon egg and as though it had been switched on I was almost in tears. That's been happening a lot lately.


My dreams are complete bonkers and I' not even going to try to analyse them right now. What my subconscious is processing will remain a mystery I think, but Mrs G's got to the stage where she's thinking of going into the spare room because she's worried I might hit her in my sleep. I;m told that I 'do things' in my sleep but when I sleep I go into a very deep sleep, probably because of years living on an active frontline RAF station. I often wake up hot and /or sweaty and when I first get out of bed I'm very cold for a few moments, and it feels as though my head is struggling to wake up because my consciousness isn't quite 'there'. Sometimes it feels as though I'm flicking between awake and asleep consciousness. There's something going on but because I'm such a heavy sleeper it's not affecting my sleep.


The gold symbols and the church bells are a reminder more than anything, a signal if you like. They'll also fade to your focus a little too because you're not paying them much attention. That's OK too.


One of the problems I have with the term 'Higher Self' is not that it sounds so airy-fairy but how other people have talked about it in the forums. I'm the same way with a few other things. It's one of those terms that people have picked up on and it's blown out of all proportion and common sense.



If you want to use another term try Overself/Oneself or Monad. or even aspect of your Multi-Dimensional Gestalt Reality if you want something more pretentious or tongue-in-cheek. Give her a name if you like, she is you after all and I don't think she'd mind. In Gestalt Reality the idea is that there are aspects that make up the whole, but the whole isn't just more than the sum of its parts the whole or the Gestalt is a new being in itself, essentially. So as you are a Gestalt Being in your own right - you have work Patrycia, at home Partycia, forums Partycia..... similarly with your alter being. She includes you, your Past and Future Lives and all the individual aspects of those.


Your Higher Self is your highest form of wisdom in the human body, it kinda maintains the links to Spirit if you like. There's quite a gap between human and Spirit consciousness so your Higher Self 'translates' and Guides, but your relationship with her is entirely between the two of you, it's very personal. Gestalt Reality isn't in conflict with that, what it does though is ties everything together in a more sensible way.


Just right now there are energy currents flowing and I don't know if it's me, something out there or both. I feel as though I want to make changes, I'll go to make a move then every fibre of my being will scream to stop. Then I have to make the coffee and let the feeling of frustration subside. It's happening with everything. I want to go buy the parts to build a new computer but I get the feeling that if I do right now it'll explode in my face - and I don't have the urge. While everything 'in here' is feeling the need to change everything 'out there' is telling me not to.


My default with problems now is waiting to see, if there's nothing obvious to be done at that time. The initial reaction is to hang on, then I'll get the feeling of action being needed as and when. If there is no feeling of action being needed initially then I won't act.


I think there's a lot going on under the surface and what I'm feeling is a reaction to the energy flows that I know are happening. Yesterday I went for a drive through my old stomping grounds, but they've all changed so much that I don't have the same affinity with them any more. It's like that part of me is being shut down.


The key phrase is that particular material and not all of Matt's in general. It's like when you're learning to drive and all the things you have to do at once are overwhelming, soon much of it becomes automatic. It's the same with Matt's material, the more you embody the more of it will become 'automatic'. I bet you don't stick your tongue out when you're writing any more. The other thing is that sometimes it's nice to have some kind of confirmation that we're changing and progressing. How you resonate with the materials also tells you something, you're grasping more and more of it so.....


It's interesting. I found a thread in the forums about someone who is worried that their being successful might conflict with their Spirituality. I guess they never thought that the person writing the book about how Spiritual people shouldn't be materialistic is getting paid handsomely for their Spiritual wisdom. What struck me the most is that Matt has no pretensions about being a guru, he's quite happy being an ordinary Joe.


I guess what I'm pointing at is that there's a process here hat begins in your early childhood that leads you to where you are today. There's also a 'don't look back in anger' feeling going on too. The progress isn't just marked by what material of Matt's you're absorbing or not, it's also about this little piece.

I was always interested in sci-fi and had read quite a few books that fired my imagination, but ST pretty much kicked the door down and came stomping in wearing heavy boots. When ST first came out I was in a very transitory period in my Life and one of my bugbears was not always being able to catch it when it aired. One week I'd be arguing between ST and Dallas or the next I'd be sitting in a truck on the motorway. I also spent six months on a tropical island with no TV so that didn't help any. I think Kirk was a bit of a role model for me in some ways. One of his sayings was "Give me a tall ship and a star to steer her by." My mother always said that I sailed three sheets to the wind, I think I lost that along the way somewhere.

This is going to be something of a longer-term project and today I'm fast running out of time. I'm fast realising that I need to look far more closely at what I'm stuffing into my chops. It's also a work in progress and I'm seeing benefits coming through slowly, although they're not happening overnight granted. Mrs G also bought some magnesium supplements after what you were saying about it, so consider my ear well and truly bent and progress is on-going. Thank you. She puts a small pot of pills with my morning coffee. I also used to have a packet of Skittles sometimes for a treat but that flares up the reflux, so more more Skittles. I guess that applies to anything similar. I don't have any kind of fizzy drinks or non-sugar versions, if I do buy bottles it's always plain water. At work I usually drink the diluted stuff and only have two cups of coffee all day. Once in a while there's Scottish Tablet for sale in the canteen and I refuse to give that up. It's almost pure sugar with some condensed milk and vanilla extract, but I don't have it often and it's my treat. So there.


I was often run down as a kid, I always had bronchitis every winter without fail along with cold sores and whatever else. Interesting that it's all flaring up again. Anyway. My pills include B12 and magnesium and it's been a week so early days as yet, but the reflux is easing a little and I haven't had cramps. Skittles and lack of brekky seems to be the major factors so that's being fixed, but as per your advice I need to change the cereal.



I'm not on medications and I don't have any major illnesses that I know of, the reflux is the pain but I'm guessing that it's affecting the processing of food so that might explain the lethargy a little. It can't be helping.


I'm listening to your advice, so thank you for that. I think it's going to take time to try this or that and wait for results, I've already made changes thanks to your advice but obviously more is needed. Please don't feel at a disadvantage, here it's a case of try it, suck it and see, adjust, suck it and see. It's not going to happen overnight.


It's going to sound judgemental but it's just to illustrate. The feeling I get in the forums as that people are just intellectually so far up their own backsides. I'm completely disenchanted with what's being said and the people saying it that the whole thing is fast becoming a pastiche. To me it's not even Spirituality, it's like a bunch of students are having a few beers and feeling clever with themselves. It's like looking at a bunch of schoolkids. It's not what I resonate with any more. Very technical and eloquent, delivered for the sake of being technical and eloquent but of little use after that.



There was a young seagull standing outside the store, it had probably lost its mother and couldn't fly. I stood there for a while just watching it as it walked back and forth, and while it ran away from everyone else it was quite happy to walk over my toes and not feel threatened. I was also talking to the trolley-boy, apparently they've closed all the small holes they had to stop the birds getting in, but what that's done is stopped the swallows from nesting, There used to be about six or seven breeding pairs but now there's one solitary swallow. I built up a 'relationship' with a swallow over time. We 'met' one stormy autumn day. Those creatures taught me more about consciousness than anything anyone has said in the forums for a long time, and I guess those that bang on about 'absolute reality' have never spent any time in a psyche ward.


I'm not dreading the future, there are times when I look forwards to it even for a number of reasons. I get the feeling that this is what I'm being 'geared up' for lately and diet is a part of that too. I also think this is what's been manifesting through my need to change. Everything feels focussed on retirement, when I feel as though I'll 'come into my own'. It just feels right, vibrates right. What I am right now is disenchanted, that there are so many things that are 'not me'.


I don't know quite what's happening but I've had some dream 'snippets' that have never made sense, they just seem to come and go and it's as though I'm being shown a movie clip. I remember dreaming exactly what you've described and it struck me when you said it. What's confusing is that when I was dreaming it I felt as though I was a kid again, and the scene took place outside where I used to live. Some of the details had changed though, what was prominent was a high wooden fence and a gravel drive. I've been getting a few of those with you, as though I'm being shown snippets of your Life before you tell me about them.

I wasn't a fan of Georgio Moroder himself but I thought what he was doing was amazing, it was very ground-breaking stuff at the time and not many were doing anything even close. Tangerine Dream were integrating it and Popcorn did more of a novelty track. It was him and Donna Summer that was the attraction because I fancied Donna Summer like crazy. She was The Babe! The music was the kind of stuff that set my whole being in motion too. Yep, that was when my disco phase kicked in. I think that pretty much paved the way for people like Jean Michel Jarre and Kraftwerk. Interestingly I have Donna Summer's McArthur Park banging away in my head, which nicely explains how I feel about things right now.


"I don't think that I can take it
Because it took so long to bake it

And I'll never have that recipe again"