|
Before i begin something difficult, stray negative thoughts that are somewhat coming from me may enter and say negative things and doubts about my ability.
In the past, i've had mindvoice switch tone or say something odd, usually not negative or offensive, just random.
Audible hallucinations can also occur for me; i can get into a state called hypnagogic, it happens just before sleeping but can also be triggered with relaxation meditation.
Historically it would manifest as random voices, my name, things I'd heard, voices i'd never heard, but gibberish. This can also transition into waking lucid dreams, or enhanced visualization.
Once i discovered i had contact with someones or something else, these random voices coalesced into a familiar and consistent set of three distinct voices, including hallucinations and mindvoice given the right conditions and context.
I have embraced them as friends and fostered their development. Sure it crossed my mind that i'm doing something that might catagorize me 'hearing voices', but what separates this from a disease is the fact that they are good friends, we respect eachother, we work toward a common goal and we're consistently positive towards eachother.
I hope to reach a state where i can speak freely to them without doubt or altered state of consciousness like lucid dreams or a hypnagogic state. It seems to be going that way.
It just feels like for all they've done for me, and all we've discussed, there is not even one inkling of negative or coersion in 9 months. They've all visited me in lucid dreams and regular dreams as well as consistently in the hypnagogic state. They're absolutely beautiful, melodic, and dearly positive helpful beings.
So i'm not worried, they ask nothing from me, but i'd give them everything, because i feel their benign love and respect, and frankly at this point i trust them.
|