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I am in a very similar situation and I empathize with you my friend. I know the feeling, in fact that is the reason I signed up to this forum. Recently I had a spiritual shift, I had been reading about the soul, consciousness. Now while I am a little aware of my Ego, I do empathize with my lover. But, most of the feelings I think she has are actually my ego trying to come up with a logical explanation based on my previous relationships and insecurities. I am scared to get back in touch with her. I stood her up recently and feel immense guilt. I did ask her what her exact feelings were for me. She acknowledged the connection we have but rejected possibility of a relationship. For the outside world it looks like a normal friend zone, but when you let in the emotions, they are magnified because of the spiritual knowledge and the ego's fear of letting go. I know she does care for me, knowing that, I am not still satisfied. I desire more of her time and attention.
So I blocked my social media access myself so that I don't get any new ideas. I am still very weak at this point, one message or call from her and I am out.
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