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Hello Seazen,
I just got your post. That is a beautiful one, thank you. One thing you said resonated me this morning---that I can work on changing my relationship with Matt from grief to joy. So direct, so profound. Yes, that is what my task is, to release the pain, to let it heal, to find a new way to connect with Matt.
At the moment, as I still grieve, I am very much immersed in the pain, but there are also times now when I can think of Matt and smile. I think about something funny he said and did, and I can laugh, sometimes cry and laugh at the same time.
I like that you shared with me about your friend being with you at pivotal times in your life. I am sure as I work through my pain, my guilt, that more and more opportunities to really feel Matt will be there. I am aware that the heavy sadness I am feeling now acts as a block.
I am very appreciative of your words today, Seazen.
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