I am feeling emotions in my heart centre, including in the damaged space which I just opened up this morning at dawn. For the 1st time in around 3 or 4 years.
And the damaged spot was already re-routed since late 2011. So all has been put back to 2011 state. I couldn't heal properly otherwise.
At first I was like ah joy I am feeling my humanity again throughout my heart centre. This is literally just from as of this morning.
But what there is at centre is also some level of pain due to not having been fully in my heart centre...and all of it now feeling painfully aware and in a sense new again.
I feel very raw and that's ok. It's better than no feeling at all. But I'm not really up for judgment of things I cannot fix or change, like who I am right in this moment -- or where I am right at this moment.
In the past I would have thought well this is really bothersome. But over the last few years, I would have given an awful lot to have this problem for the last few years. It was equally painful not being able to fully feel myself, my joy, my pain...I can't even describe it. So this is good pain and I can't complain...I have to just get used to feeling the burden of the heart. I hear this line from "Howl's Moving Castle" ...
the heart is a heavy burden. And that's the deal.
The other thing is yes that when folks are so transparent and lacking in civility and decency...and just outright seek to use you and rub your face in it...that is bothersome. So yes, that bothers me
And LOL@ grok and people
Peace & blessings
7L