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Originally Posted by FairyCrystal
The most important relationship in life is the one with yourself. Yet, it is also the one we mostly not tend to. How many of us struggle with loving ourselves, and I mean really loving ourselves?
We cannot really engage in interdependent relationships with a partner -which truly are the only really nourishing and healthy form- if we don't love ourselves.
I myself am struggling with it. I do love myself, but I wobble. I have problems with self-esteem and self-worth.
And I also struggle with how to get to loving myself more, how to increase my feeling of self-worth. In general life I'm doing okay, it's mostly in love relationships that it becomes a problem. I know the reason for that, but now I'm looking for answers to 'how to love myself, increase self-esteem and worthiness?'
I'm kinda stuck...
Then I asked myself; "What exactly is it I feel I fall short off and/or lack?"
I had never asked myself that question before, and for a few minutes I seriously didn't know the answer. Then it came to me...
I fear I am not interesting enough, that when the initial buzz wears off people will find me boring. That I'm not intriguing enough, not funny enough.
Phew, typing that out hurts, literally, my heart chakra, my solar plexus and I believe my 2nd chakra. But mostly my solar plexus.
Quite the eye-opener for me. In general I knew I feared not being good enough, but never stopped to wonder exactly what I feared not being good enough at.
I think I fear that after the initial enthusiasm wears off others -and esp my partner- will come to think that I'm really not all that interesting, but in actual fact really quite boring.
The fact I have no job adds to that in a way. I do have goals in life and plenty of things to do, but in spite of that I have no real future prospective.
I'm home every day, so nothing special ever happens, not really. So I fear I have nothing of value or interest to add to the relationship.
Now I'm thinking I'm likely overestimating the importance of being employed when it concerns 'adding value to the relationship'. (not talking financial value here).
Kind of stupid, cos I don't feel I'm not good enough when it comes to me myself and I, yet when it comes to a partner, I suddenly feel what I am and what I got to offer isn't good enough.
Anyhow...
- What do you do to increase love of Self?
- Does it really pay off?
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Interestingly enough the Self-Love Crystal Array is the one people's Higher Selves most choose for them to have. I've seen remarkable results from it. Sometimes we do the work, heal vast amounts inside and come into new understandings with ourselves but still stay stuck in out dated energies. This array seems to clear those out dated energies out. I've been agog watching the changes in people afterwards! So maybe some energy work around Self-love would be beneficial.
I do highly recommend getting out more, a job, or maybe volunteering somewhere as a Candy striper, with a animal rescue, with children, or Habitat for Humanity - Something! Being a Stay-at-home person is a plateau, just a holding still pattern, little new information or character forming happening. Which is fine when we become elderly, but isn't useful when we're younger and as you said - it stunts what you have to talk about and share and even relate to with another, and stops you from developing new abilities, understanding and inner personal development.
As frustrating as it can be at times - we humans evolve and grow exponentially under challenge. It is a huge growth engine for us, whereas playing it safe and not exposing our self to challenge and new things has the opposite effect and is almost a mechanism for de-volving.
So rejoin life, get out there a mix, find something to commit to and do it until it's no longer interesting and challenging, then find something else to delve into and explore and learn from. :)