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Sorry for your loss Tealrose, your post reminded me of when my daughter's father passed away a few months ago (She went over to the USA to be with him)
He was suffering quite bad, my daughter (19) sat with him through it all. It got pretty bad and my daughter tried to call me here in the UK, unfortunately I wasn't home so she called my mother explaining how awful it was seeing him suffer.
After they both hung up, my mother was quite upset and asked spirit not to make Tony suffer anymore, please take him.
Within 5 miniutes after that, my daughter called my mother once again to say, her father has passed.
It was a relief for all of us.
Regarding your question, how long..... it really depends on those who have passed on, the circumstances etc. Some have been known to return quite soon, some it can take quite a long time.
Blessings
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