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Hi Inna0, though your dad is no longer physically with you, he is still a part
of you and will always be a part of you. All that he gave you is still with you, and
what he gave you came from him.
The way that you are feeling is natural, you are grieving and you should allow
yourself time to grieve; cry, mourn, reminisce, and cry some more. It would be
un-natural if you did not do these things.
You are in and alternate universe because your reality has changed; it is not
the same reality that you once had. Adjusting and adapting to change can be
very difficult, and the process often happens very slowly. Especially with the
loss of a closely held relationship like the one you had, and still have.
The thing about getting too deep into your beliefs; it's not and either or
situation. Your beliefs become part of your everyday world but they are not
a substitute for your current everyday world. Everyone has beliefs of one
sort or another, none of us really see the world as it truly is, rather we see
the world as we are, according to our beliefs.
It might be helpful for you to talk with your dad in moments of solitude,
ask him to continue to guide you, etc. Maintain that relationship with
your dad even though he is no longer physically here. It might also be
helpful to write down your feelings, or hold articles and mementos of
your dad’s when talking to him.
Reality is a matter of perception and while we all live on the same
planet we do not all live in the same world. Don’t analyze this too
much. This is more about how you feel than it is about what you think.
The grieving process is a journey, and you take as long as you need
on this journey. Eventually you will find peace in your dad’s passing,
nonetheless, he will always be with you.
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