Good for you Seawolf, it also took me awhile, after much searching, to find what works for me,
and I have also put myself in psychotherapy many times.
From the book Graceful Passages:
LETTING YOURSELF BE LOVED,
From “Lessons From the Heart," By Lew Epstein
No one has ever prepared us for this experience,
We think it’s the end – no,
It’s another beginning.
It’s knowing that you are loved,
It’s not easy, letting yourself be loved,
Because we’ve learned to judge ourselves,
We’re always judging ourselves.
But I’ve learned to listen that I was loved. I am loved!
But then I would forget that I was loved.
Those were the most painful times for me…
Forgetting that I was loved.
So you’ve let yourself be loved while you’ve been here.
And you judged yourself.
And you’ve forgotten that you were loved,
And you became alone…but you will always be here.
You are blessed, you are forgiven, you are an angel.
You have to listen that you are loved and you have to forgive all the time.
Thank you for letting me love you, thank you for letting yourself be loved.