Hey there GE,
you've asked a few thought provoking questions. If you continue to seek the answers they will come and you will see you have nothing to worry about.
Being confused is okay. It's okay not to have all the answers, because you're growing and still maturing physically as well as emotionally. There is no rush to find out what happens on the other side. The main thing that's important is that your curiosity grows stronger every day.
If Jesus is your father that's great! Don't let others define what your father means to you. Ask the father to reveal himself to you and let his light shine on you.
Your inner voice is saying something is wrong with this "truth". This "truth" is not the home that you remember, and what you remember conflicts with what your experiences has been so far in religion (Christianity). However remember that you're loved and will always be loved by God no matter what religion you choose to follow. It's all for you because God lives in you. So listen to his voice.
I did a mission trip once in Japan. And I learned that the most Godly type of Evangelism is showing your love to others. Love dear GoldenEmbers needs no words. It's an action that invokes a feeling of belonging in others. Why is that so complicated? Because unconditional love is so rare humans have made it their mission to build a stairway to heaven when in fact heaven is a place they've never left.
It's okay to feel that way, but whether or not you think you know Jesus, Jesus knows you.
Let me ask you this question. What language do we speak in heaven? If the body is made of flesh and bone, and you move on in spirit, what's the need for a human language? So by through each other's mind we communicate with each another. And that kind of communication is instantaneous.
So repentance, let's talk about repentance. What is it really? It's knowing did something wrong and you feel a sense of shame/sorrow over it. That's the only kind of repentance that matters to the soul. When you know that you did wrong and you wish you hadn't I tell you the truth you've already repented.
God does not need you to speak in the language of a human being and say that you're sorry "please forgive me". Your heart has already done that for you. God needs no time to hear your prayer he has heard it the moment you thought it. The very instant you cried out "PLEASE FORGIVE ME!", it has been forgiven before the moment the first sound has left your lips.
It's human nature to fear what we don't understand. When some one talks about conditional love, we all know it and left it up as truth. But the minute some one exemplifies unconditional love, then it's the uncanny valley (an unsettling feeling when some one does not know if it's human or not.
A psychic is nothing more than just an interpreter or medium between the spiritual world and ours. However you are totally capable of connecting with your loved ones without the need of a medium. When you pray to God, you're listening for an answer are you not? If you hear one than you are a medium the same way that mediums are when they connect with your loved ones on the other side.
Remember the uncanny valley feeling I was talking about. Your brain is trying to translate what it's sensing and it might come across as very strange. Hence we label it demonic. However people who have never heard before hear voices in a strange way until their brain has time to adjust to that frequency.
It's the same with spirituality. BUT, your guides, your true guides won't ever try and scare you. It could be possibly that you picked up the signature of other spirits around you. And they were just playing with you. Don't fear them, they cannot hurt you because your guardian spirit and higher self is will never leave you.
Hahaha no. Your spirit guides aren't demons, and I personally don't believe in such things that religion teaches, because the notion a being exists purely for the pleasure of negativity ignores the natural duality of the universe. Where there is darkness their is light, and where there is light there is darkness. They are the same because we are all connected.
Actually very few people who report NDE's experience a hellish one. Normally they always experience a positive or neutral outcome even if the NDE starts out negatively.
The reason why some people report a hellish NDE has more to do with their need to experience darkness so they can understand that there is light. Remember light and darkness are two sides of the same coin.
Do not worry though, we experience hardships so that we can learn and grow in the light. When you were small your parents must have said no to you once in awhile. When they said no you felt rejected and pain, and you cried, but as you grew older you came to understand that it was for your benefit and you grew to have a greater appreciation for the thing you couldn't have. Love is the same way. Some of us experience a lot of hardship so we understand more what love is by knowing what it's not.
God Bless
sf