[JustBe]

Originally Posted by JustBe

This is good.

I woke this morning after a restless night sleep only with enough energy to get myself to work. I was pondering what benefits meditation would aid me at this time of my life and process. I went back to a group meditation I did a few days prior, where a fire was burning for us to let go of something we might feel we had to let go of. I looked within myself and there was nothing left in me that felt it needed to let go of. The letting go to all others in me that created my earliest foundational sense of self was empty, I felt it. I felt clear.

So today’s waking and pondering made me wonder what purpose the meditation practice would serve in me, for me as myself now? I realize now in reading through your sharing, I will connect to myself. I will learn of the meditation practice as a way to understand my own inner workings and world, without the conditioned pain body needing to surrender. I will surrender to myself, I will learn and listen to my own body, I will understand and connect in ways deeper through this refinement of myself.

I may even sleep better...hehe

Your words are my answer as my answer in me understands.

Especially this part..”You practiced for some time, you are clear on the purpose of the purification, and clear that at this stage we train sensitivity of mind. You comprehend why we use nose/air feeling specifically. You have now seen for yourself and understand why we have no verbalisation or visualisation, or indeed, any fabrications of imagination. As a practitioner you know what you are doing and why, and you have experienced the initial beneficial effects, so now, no matter what the experts say, no matter you are ridiculed, no matter what - you are resolute within yourself and go forward under your very own steam. You are strong in your own determination, and you accept the responsibility of sangha, which also makes you ever more ardent.”-gem

So I’ve solved the mystery of my sleep deprivation. Today my realisation is that the most important time to meditate for myself is night. So that’s now my focus. My sleep state is processing the day. And being someone who is constantly immersed in others through my work and connections,this time is most important for me. It makes sense. I need to reset sleep to complete shut down. So the morning lends me to more aliveness and wakefulness.

Little realisations can be most profound for ones practice.