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Originally Posted by Honza
You and Sky offered an explanation. Which I have read and accepted as a possible solution. However the heavens did not open with a resounding clash and confirm your reply. Your reply is one of many possibilities.
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Is your religion not answering your questions Honza? mybe it's creating more questions that are in turn causing you to question your beliefs, If I found myself in your situation which seems to be causing you inner turmoil and misery then I would need to look elsewhere for solace.