You make some excellent points, if I may say so.
The main problems seem twofold: there are almost no facts in spirituality so correspondingly almost everything said is an opinion.
And: words are fairly useless to describe experiences unless one can count on what they mean being commonly recognised. At times it can be difficult.
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Originally Posted by Shivani Devi
I guess my whole issue being that often, communication is impossible and I don't know how to rectify it, because no matter which avenue I take, it seems to be detrimental to my 'spirituality'.
For example, I may express a thought, belief or a feeling out of some human need to do so, only to have another say "you're totally wrong about that" or "you're stupid if you believe that" or "that's not how it really is, you're delusional".
Now, there are a few ways I could go about this...I could defend my view/opinion as it relates to me, only to be 'stubborn', 'ignorant', 'closed-minded' or 'intolerant'.
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Understand in that it would affect me similarly once though now I'm more used to it and happy for people to assert if they want to when I know I'm facing opinion. Call me stupid if they might so........
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I could ask them "what makes you say that?" or "could you please explain yourself?" only to get a reply like "if you can't see why you're totally wrong, then I cannot help you" or "I don't need to explain myself to you" or else just re-iterate their position without any further elaboration.
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Well, huh, if they suggest I can't see where I'm wrong but can do nothing to help remedy it then I switch off, wondering if
they know what they're talking about. Otherwise, I'll "listen", always wondering what's new to take in or from a technical viewpoint what can be learned.
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I could always just laugh and ignore them/walk away, but then I am back to being 'ignorant' and 'closed-minded' again and 'not willing to listen'.
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Laugh away and ponder yourself on how close-minded you are. You probably aren't. But yes, one gets that kind of rebuff here so I notice.
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There is a reason why ancient tribes had a 'talking stick'...but most people consider that idea totally ridiculous...I sarcastically wonder why...lol
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It's a shame the practice became extinct. I suppose here it's a bit replicated since replies are sequential. People can't all talk at once. I fend to read through a whole topic if coming in late. No use repeating what someone else might have said earlier.
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...and so, no matter which way I go, communication is impossible because I am fully aware that I am comfortable with my own thoughts and views, and if I listened to everybody and took everybody's opinions and beliefs on-board as my own, the total contradiction between all of them would drive me totally insane, so I have to have boundaries...and unfortunately, many people don't know the difference between a 'boundary' and a 'closed mind'.
So, the only other option is silence...but then again, if I am going to start being silent, I won't be able to stop being silent because I haven't yet learned when to speak and when to shut up, so I would shut up all the time and just communicate by neanderthal grunts and monkey hand-gestures...and others would say "wow, that's great...I totally managed to shut that idiot up for good...look how amazing I am".
...and so, I stay in my 'cave' and don't venture out of it and have over half of SF on my 'ignore list' because I just cannot deal.
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Shame, that. There are those I ignore here but don't put them on the list in case they pop up in an interesting thread. Could be they have something relevant. There are pompous people, preachers, pragmatists, genuine ascetics, all sorts. I could well be on your ignore list; am probably on over half of members' ignore lists. I try to be sincere because this is a forum where that would seem appropriate, just have to watch my optimism as it can turn into humour that isn't often appreciated. Sincerity isn't always appreciated.
I've learned a lot here; been forced to look at my background, at occasional capriciousness and flippancy and made to wonder. I've learned how selfish emotions can be.
On the other hand, how precious people are.