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I get messages through song lyrics as well. I think it is pretty cool. The more you pay attention the more you will get them. And it is ok to cry. Crying is the body's way to release stress, tension and sorrow. I use to hold all my emotions in and now I let them flow. It is much healthier than holding them in. As for finding self love it isn't so much a matter of acquiring it but rather knowing that there is nothing wrong with you and that you deserve it, it is your birthright and love is who you are even if it was never expressed to you. I just came across a teaching on self acceptance. If we do not have self acceptance it means a part of us is actively in self rejection or feeling as though there is something wrong with us that needs fixing. This causes us to fall into a pattern of self judgment and comparing ourselves with a good/bad, right/wrong lens based on some ideal self. An ideal self that really can never be achieved because we are in the trap of comparing our self and progress to gauge if we have or have not yet improved. So gaining self acceptance is not simply the act of stopping our judgments to stop the self rejection. It is centered on the idea that we are not broken in any way in the first place. That our soul does not need fixing, it is already whole. That the act of engaging in self improvement pursuits itself actually keeps us rooted in judgment and comparison. Our soul is perfect, our human psyche is simply mistaken. To fix ourselves is not a matter of self improvement but simply a matter of finding clarity that we were never broken in the first place. We may have to clear out some beliefs we took on from our families or life experiences but none of what we see with our human minds or bodies does affect the purity of our soul. So rather than try to search for a self love that you have no frame of reference for and no way to know how to give it to yourself try and simple work on clearing any thoughts or beliefs that cause you to feel you are not already whole, pure and eternal just the way you are. Our human psyche gets in the way but is not who we are. We are not defined by our experiences or our bodies. We are a soul having a human experience.
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