I think that "applying consciousness" is the main way to address almost any problem. I personally feel like internalizing ill feelings too much sort of provides a petri dish for them to fester, and I don't think that is something you want to remain and build inside of you. It's not fair to keep yourself down because you really don't have to live a life of total suffering. It's ok to have sensitive emotions and feel hurt and pain if that is what you are feeling and thinking, but it also becomes a matter of how much more are we creating by only shedding light (or shadows) on these negative emotions and ignoring most else.
When we talk to others about things bothering us, it's like we're shining a light on the shadows and giving ourselves more room to breathe, and hopefully grow more light internally. I know you may not, but I feel we are beings of light and love at the core so all of these negative emotions and everything are just suppressing the real us. I try to be positive a lot of the time, but I am sensitive too, and have negative things that get stuck in me and it's hard to move on, but it takes conscious effort to try and unravel and understand all of the nonsense that tends to brew inside.
I spent years looking for ways to heal and stop the hateful voices or whatever you want to call it. and through that journey I've found out what I think is the truth that we do deserve to be happy. That we are happy, there are just other things covering it up and getting in the way of us expressing our true nature. Now all that being said, doesn't mean that the 'happy-go-lucky' people in the bar are actually living their real selves and emotions. maybe their joy is fake, or based on superficial things.. maybe they are covering up their true darker emotions with a facade. maybe by facing your darkness you are more genuine than a lot of people who seem happy, and perhaps closer to pure happiness than them. but if you don't try to apply consciousness to your current state and thoughts, you could just remain stuck and living in your own shadows.
I don't fault you for not getting up and acting like the prom king at bars, (I've been plagued by social anxiety myself most of my life, since we're on the subject actually I used alcohol to try and suppress it) though your poor attitude is obviously apparent even through this forum. and I really like the fact that you made a thread about this situation. I think that in ways you want to open up more, and I believe it was Rumi who said “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” so sometimes those who have spent more time suffering and experiencing the unfortunate side of life can rise even greater and brighter, like the phoenix coming out of its ashes.
If you don't feel good there is no reason to keep yourself down. I know that terrible things seem to happen and that they feel personal like you're being punished, but maybe there is a more profound reason that you missed. Maybe the things that happened here that seemed so awful, made the spiritual side of existence better or something, and that might not seem right, but you are still connected to that side so what everything comes down to is your perspective, your attitude and your gratitude. There are many things to appreciate and experience, even for a prisoner locked in a tiny dark musty cold cell, if they are alive and their brain works, there are infinite things to celebrate, because a person has a lot of potential and abilities within their own body and mind. I mean, a cold little cell seems harsh, but just think of all the people on this forum who practice astral projection and meditation, and all the incredible places they go and things they experience while just sitting or laying there.. those riches can't be deprived even of a prisoner, so we always have something to appreciate. and the fact we are in homes and have access to a computer and this website illustrates that we have even more available than that prisoner who could potentially have everything they could need or want within their own selves.
I'm sorry if this is sounding silly it's just that I know the key to overcoming suffocating emotions and thoughts is to try and be more present and grateful. it's easier said than done but unless we try to see all the good that still exists within and around us then we just live a life of distraction and waste our time and possible experiences here. I like to think that at least loosely everything happens for a reason. If I didn't experience the suffering and ugliness I have then I wouldn't have been inspired to look for answers and find out all the amazing truths about life and living on this Earth that I have. and you might not be on this forum either if you didn't have troubling times. and hopefully you feel like your presence on this forum is worthwhile when all's said and done. I don't know what else you're into, but even though I'd like you to embrace light more, there is a sincerity to you shining through that not everyone exudes to such a degree. and that's a good starting space.
The thing about talking to others, is that it is not necessarily a panacea, and I think it's good to 'get it out' sometimes, but it's better if the one we're talking to can understand or at least has some quality about them that is free of judgment or anything that will not make us feel more free afterward. I think that Lucky's suggestion of journaling is really worth considering. Writing is a lot more powerful than it seems.
Also, there is a technique called Emotional Freedom Technique which was proven to be more effective than traditional Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and in a fraction of the time. So trying something like that might help you the most for now. It's a very simple yet profoundly effective technique, which has been scientifically verified through studies like those comparing it to CBT, that helps to rewire your brain and farther reaching parts of your being. It's like it helps us loosen all those knots that bind us, and unravels issues that we don't need to keep carrying around. It's been proven effective for all sorts of things, from mild mental disorders like depression to ptsd, phobias, etc and even helped people get better scores in golf and basketball believe it or not.. I guess it works on deep levels of our psyches to clear unnecessary baggage. It's also been shown on brain scans how it helps balance the energy there. here's one page about a little research on it but there's much more out there if you're at all interested
https://www.thetappingsolution.com/research/
All you have to do is try it, you can do it for just a matter of minutes, though of course I must warn you that you will probably feel silly doing it at first cuz it seems weird. there are lots of youtube videos people made to teach about it and guide viewers through the process, and websites and books too, though all you need to know is the basic technique set-up and you can run away with it on your own.
well, I know all what I've written is not what you asked for but if you don't find anything useful in it, at least you can feel better about yourself knowing you are not as silly as me lol. I just know what it's like to waste life away and be consumed by shadows for long periods of time, when that's not how it has to be. but you can use that depth you've experienced to dig up and elevate yourself even higher. I used to be afraid that if I tried to be happy that I might fall again and thus it'd be pointless, but the reality is that once we reach a certain height, if we fall again it usually won't be to such a low place. and if we do visit that low place again. perhaps it's because there is some more treasure to find there that we missed the first time we were there and were too busy being miserable to see. then we can use that to climb even higher. it's like, life is a path, but sometimes that path involves being lost in tunnels.. the important thing is to not spend our whole lives there, and find something worthwhile while we are, and that sort of deeply buried treasure can make our paths aboveground even more unique and sparkling. I guess with that analogy it's interesting to muse about.. how you're afraid of talking to people because essentially you don't want to bring them down to your dark caverns. but you never know, maybe they might find some treasure there too or you can share yours with them and then see what beauty you didn't even know you were hoarding. as long as you are at least a tiny bit open to getting a glimpse of the person's path you are sharing with. because they might have something else meaningful to share with you too