It's usually lust swathed in some romantic excuse. Such people want an affair, nothing lasting though they might pretend they want that until the sex wears thin. I'm told the saddest thing is the cougar who falls in love with her toyboy.

I'm not married (and curiously being single comes into the equation) but I'm ok if the man is honest - he rarely is. Cross-examining reveals enough but in one case the guy told me he was breaking up with his Mrs. But...I tend to judge by the deed not the word and said that's fine if he introduces me to his wife so she knows exactly what's going on. He never appeared again.

I'm afraid you're right. "Family" does seem to be an obsolescent idea.