Hi Roaring Thunder welcome
I think it’s even possible you may have been a female in your most recent past life. I think its possible that a lot of transgenders were the gender they feel in their most recent past life. For most people they make the transition smoothly if they go from female to male or male to female but some do not which is why they feel they are in the wrong body. They aren’t but are having strong pulls to their most recent past life where they were the other gender. It’s even possible that this is their first incarnation of the opposite gender and all the other lifes they had been the other gender.
That’s very typical I think more people fear how they will die then when or even that they will die one day. Obviously no one wants to die in a horrific accident most would prefer just to pass in their sleep. Your prediction of how it will be when your cross over is very nice. I think you have some great dreams and goals. I'd love to read your novel when ever you get it published.
Hang in there.
If you ever want you can pm me.