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All my poetry is about him, about this love, it's just some time more and some time less obvious. When I was twelve I wrote a poem about locking eyes with someone and feeling like sinking into the black hole all the way through space to the beginning of time, before the big bang, and feeling being in unity with god, the divine. I wasn't aware then, but looking back I realize it's about tf experience and how I yearned for that even before knowing such thing was possible. I also sent him my poems, hopefully they struck in him something deeper. He opens me up like no one, and words just pour out like waterfall. I even had fully formed poems just flash in my brain in moments before falling asleep, along with so much emotion I'd cry. I didn't have to write them down, because they would stay in my memory like they were imprinted. I know I am a talented creator, but I'm struggling to make art whenever I want, it's either it writes itself when it comes, or I can't write a thing for months. I have to not purposefully sit down and write, I have to be empty of thoughts and surrender to higher feelings. My tf is a musician, and if we ever come into contact, I'd love to hear him sing my lyrics. I am sure it would be magic.
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