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There is nothing wrong or pathological about being a loner. Its a preference. Self realization can come when one is a loner or when one connects with others.
Those who choose to withdraw because of "past negative social situations" aren't necessarily dysfunctional and in need of therapy. They merely do not wish to place themselves in social situations and engage in inane small talk with people of "lower vibrations" who interact solely out of their ego. It is an unnecessary waste of time. Unfortunately, at this point in time many people of this earth vibrate at that ego based lower level.
At this point in my existence and evolution, I prefer the majority of my free time (after work and weekends) to "devote to myself" (This is more accurate terminology than "being alone"). I will however go out to the neighborhood bar on occasion and will risk wasting my time with ego based individuals in order to find someone of a higher vibration capable of that "inner connection" of joyous laughter, frivolity and mutual interest.
I do have friendships I have maintained over the years, but they are thankfully quite free i.e. there is no need or requirement to connect on a "regularly scheduled basis". I have also been quite blessed with my "clique" at work (male and female friends) with whom to engage in jokes, racy topics and playful flirtatiousness. I guess I feel a wonderful balance of being alone and being with others.
The best most fulfilling spiritual part about being with others IMO, is to give and elicit joy and laughter in one another. This is definitely one way of making that "inner connection" heather was speaking of. It is a heart and soul connection that goes beyond superficial ego based conversation/connection.
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