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Originally Posted by ShiningStar
That's exactly how I feel. The grieving is gone, thank goodness, but he's always there in the back of my mind. He may not be the first thing I think about when I wake up, but give it time, it eventually comes as maybe the
3rd or 4th thing that comes to mind. I also assume some day it won't be there any longer. Part of my fear is if I let go he will go completely from my mind, thus no interest in him if he comes back.....dunno if that is fear ego or not. Maybe I haven't surrendered enough to it.
I too am scared to see him only because I know how he is, in that he has no idea how to explain to me what he's been going through. I am told he misses me but can't bring himself to make contact and explain. He has lots of fear he needs to work on. I think my fear of talking to him is just his reflection of his fear bouncing back and forth. I am ready to talk to him, even as just a friend, and I have opened the door for him to do make the effort, but he won't walk through it.  |
I think most of our fears is letting go completely and having them come back when we don't feel anything for them anymore. The way I look at it, is if they aren't fearing losing us forever than why should we? Life is to beautiful to be subconsciously waiting for their return. ItS hard, I know it is, as I guy I never imagined myself in a situation like this, but I'm coming to terms that Perhaps we weren't meant to be in this lifetime. Think about it, do you wanna be with someone whom you'll always have to worry about wether they'll run out on you again? Even if they don't realize what theyre doing, I'm sure they realize they're runnin away from Love. And If they really mirror us, why didnt we run as well?She may be in my thoughts all the time, but my mind is set that I can't continue to live like this. If the universe sends me someone else, I won't hesitate to love that person and move forward with my life. TF or not.