I went back and re-read your question. I answered it to the best of my ability. I explained that to survive (if one is an old soul) means to understand oneself and people around them. It allowed me to tolerate when I wanted to show impatience. It also helped me understand why my interests in family and the world around me are waining. I wish you well in the information you seek.
If you hit rock bottom, start picking up rocks.
By embracing my imperfections I am becoming perfect.