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Originally Posted by WabiSabi
I find that those who fear death the most are those who are very invested in their lives. Education and material/professional success often fuel this fear, as you know that you cannot take your wealth or your accomplishments in this life with you when you die. You must leave them behind, give them up.
As for what you should do? I cannot really say for sure, as your path is your own to tread. What happened to me was that I finally decided that I was okay with dying. In the midst of an anxiety attack like many others, one where I thought I was going to die (again), I decided that I would rather die than continue to deal with the misery of my constant fear. My heart was beating so fast, I thought I was going to drop dead any second, and so I lay on the ground and let go of everything, let go of my self and everything that I had any attachment to. I wanted death to take me, to take away the pain. In that instant I made a conscious decision to accept my death, and my fear and anxiety dropped away immediately. I didn't die, of course, and I often still think about my death to this day, but my thoughts have no association fear.
This is not necessarily something that you can just do because you want to. I had to be pushed to the brink before I came to accept my mortality. So what can you do? My recommendation is to take up a practice of mindfulness, something that grounds you in the present moment. Start meditating or doing yoga. And continue to think on your death. Try and discover why you are so fearful of it. What are you so scared of losing?
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Hi Wabisabi,
The fear is, losing control of what appears to be reality. The fear of the unknown. I know I have lead a life in which I have tried to be free of doing bad things. I've really tried to be kind to everyone and everything. The ultimate fear and sadness is dying and then what if there is nothing afterwards. I would be so disappointed. I want to know that working hard in this life to be a good person will have some merit after we pass. No, I am not perfect and far from it. But, my ultimate intentions are being good and spreading kindness.
Material-wise, I do not fear losing posessions. I really could care less.
I think that I need to get in touch with my spiritual being. I am not sure how to go about this. I've gone to church and was confirmed Catholic. I stopped going because I do not believe in supporting an organization that was hiding abuses of children.
I feel a huge pull and connection to Chinese culture. I studied Chinese when I was in college. I've always joked with my family that I believe God made a mistake in making me. God instead should of made me Chinese :) With that in mind, I wonder if exploring a Chinese/Asian spiritual belief system would help with my anxiety of death? I have a very open mind about most anything.
"My recommendation is to take up a practice of mindfulness, something that grounds you in the present moment." Yes, I tend to either live in the past or have anxiety about the future. It has only gotten worse as I've gotten older.
Thanks again for your comments!