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Saturnine Pluto, your post is breaking my heart.
The level of separation/isolation you feel just makes me want to cry; we are all connected, all of us. You are connected to those you feel a connection with, no matter what "percent" some paperwork wants you to believe. I have known some Shamans, medicine men, and I have seen some beautiful stories about interactions with everyone from American Natives to Aborigines of Australia, and one thing that seems universal is that if your heart and soul are true, it doesn't matter your skin color, your race, your nationality. The Shamans know All is connected to the All - we are all brothers and sisters under Great Spirit.
You are precious and beloved, and you belong in all the ways your heart and soul tell you that you belong. Furthermore, there is something so incredibly beautiful about who you are: you are a Bridge-Builder, one with a foot in two worlds. You have the ability to inherently learn the "language" of multiple cultures and become someone who creates connections across the perceived divide.
There could be two people you might enjoy speaking with or reading their books, they are both beautiful souls that perhaps could walk with you on your path. Robbie Holz, her website is holzwellness and her husband had been accepted into initiation with an aboriginal tribe, as she was later after his death. Her book "Aboriginal Secrets of Awakening" is just beautiful. Another person who might be able to give you some love and support is Gregory Drambour, and his book, The Shaman and His Daughter is so beautiful and gentle, and he is just a beautiful soul, full of love. You can find him on Facebook, possibly Ms. Holz as well.
Wishing you peace, love, & harmony.
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