I'm starting to accept and look forward to it. This world isn't such a great place. In some ways I've evolved spiritually in amazing ways, and in other ways it all seems like so much mucking around the same old stuff and not much ever changes . I'm don't have depression , and I'm not suicidal, but I have begun to wonder what's the freaking point , if you just keep doing the same old stuff year after year, with occasional splashes of cosmic delight ?
Sometimes those seem like beacons of hope and excitement, and sometimes they feel like a big tease , like "here's a taste of what you do not get in this life " . And I'm like "what the heck ?! " Take my dog, make my wife sad, make work slow down, stress me out... well, I call baloney crud ! . Sometimes you suck, life
. So yeah, sometimes I look forward to death . Very un-spiritual . I need to meditate. I'm just not trusting Spirit. I'm not surrendering. Blah blah blah. Sometimes you get slam dunked and question everything . That's where I'm at now . Yeah, yeah, Big Picture , I know . Well, that's just great if you keep seeing it , but I see this small picture too , and it's missing a little dog boy, and it really ****es me off !. Take this job and shove it
