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No, don't get me wrong I've had feelings of helplessness but what human being at some point doesn't?
Lately I've been feeling as if I am getting messed with, as if I'm being kept in the dark about something and/or deliberately getting driven to frustration so others can see me at my worst.
But as I do in all my times of distress and even gratefulness I sought out my higher power for guidance and as I have been listening and following the spirit I hear the answer the universe has given me.
Shamanism has been presented to me in multiple different ways, and since this experience it has presented itself to me even more strongly.
As if the universe is throwing information into my face and screaming at me to read that article, watch that video, listen to what that person says, pay attention to that dream and it's all information that has helped me understand not only what I am going through but also who I am.
Since this experience, and receiving the information from the spirit I realize that I have been on a shamanic path without even realizing it. It was as if I just knew and I let the spirit lead me. The only trouble is I lost sight of what I was aiming for, I forgot why I was on this journey in the first place. But without having gone through it I would not have been able to learn the difference.
I had never experienced such a helpless state as I had in that 'dream.' However now that I have experienced it and felt what it's like to be in that state I have grown and learned from it. It prepares me for the future so if I ever do come into an event in which I feel powerless or helpless I will be stronger than I would have before, because I had gone through it before. Experiences and emotions are just as real in a dream as they are in waking life.
And yet I'm not totally convinced this was a dream. I was in my home just as it was, I walked down the hallway just as I would. It was dark, then what came out of the dark brought me into the light of my fathers room, where I saw a man sitting beside my father with my fathers and my own life in his hands.
A dream, my dreams, tend to be more abstract than this was. It's usual for them to be very vivid to the point where sometimes I can even feel the elements around me. The other times I have astral projected was always within the boundaries of my own home or other places beyond. I can tell the difference.
But this was unique in that it was a sort of mix between an astral like state and a dream like state. I was in the boundaries of my home, nothing about my home was altered, only the daylight in my fathers room and my perceived height altered.
I think maybe this doesn't fall under astral projection, but I was definitely in a different place where a message was being given to me. Maybe it would fall under the vision category, or message.
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