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Old 18-09-2017, 12:56 PM
Badcopyinc
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snow Goose
This is really interesting I can definitely see both sides here, yes you do need to love yourself to be able to love another but there is also truth in what Tuesday is saying.

Sometimes we go through some really bad times in life, without someone there who truly loves you and shows compassion things could become really bad. If you are in a healthy and loving relationship then there is nothing bad about this, we all need a little help sometimes.

The problem stems from when we are completely attached and dependant on another, we control and possess rather than accept and encourage.

If we go down the route of being so involved in our own selves and detached from the other then it would also be impossible to have a positive relationship with another.

I see my relationship as a partnership between two individuals. Yes there are times we don't agree but we talk and compromise.

Really bad times are teaching us that we are not alone. That we need to love ourselves first. I agree during these lessons it is comforting to have help. But when help is there is it easier to ignore the lesson and latch on to outside comfort instead of finding that comfort inside or even better change the thought process leading to sadness? Change the belief that anger sadness and anxiety are a result of outside forces.

Some believe that we need to have dark experiences in order to appreciate the light.

I don't think anyone was saying those things aren't valid or needed. Just that love of self is all that is needed. (Which is not selfish) Once one loves self fully they will be more available to each moment. They will not be dwelling on past or future, Or what others think of them. They will be centered in the present. And when In the now they will actually be more available to the person that they are with. They hear everything that is said and unsaid. They will see every facial expression and pick up on all body language. They will be fully absorbed to what they are giving their attention to.

Even being fully present with your significant can be viewed as you loving them. Because you're so focused on them and the moment. But really it's a result of you loving you. Not them. And to the person being present there is no difference.
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