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Originally Posted by Tobi
Seriously, lotus, it might be wise to find some support and professional help for your problem with alcohol.
Alcohol has a way of magnifying emotion. But frequently it magnifies it in a negative way, and it can make you feel like you are carring a 50lb back-pack through life.
You probably wouldn't know it was having that effect until you get clean.
I honestly don't know if you are "Possessed" or not. I don't mean to underestimate that possibility. But whether or not....YOU are the one who has to take charge.
There may be some painful semi-repressed emotion also, about your boyfriend now being your "ex"...? Has it made you deeply sad? If that is the case, sadness can manifest in strange ways sometimes, and make you behave in self-destructive ways, or be hurtful etc.
Recognising it would be the first step. Then maybe finding some help somewhere for that pain too....
But through it all, never be afraid to cry.
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Yes I am trying to find a good program but it is hard because I literally live by myself with a cat. One of my friends told me "I hit the floor" when he broke up with me, so I guess if it is obvious to her it must be true. I'm trying to make the time to get into treatment - it's actually kind of difficult.
