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Originally Posted by Maiya
we can forgive them and yet still not want to be with them.
We forgive people more for our own benefit than theirs.
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You beat me to it. I was just going to say this.
You can forgive someone, without forgiving necessarily what they have done. Forgiveness is a way of letting go/releasing the pain within yourself, maybe even taking back something you feel was taken in the hurt he has caused.
When you say 'what he did was the worst someone could do' that gives me pause. Even if you are able to forgive him, that does not mean he deserves another chance, especially in reference to the quote above.
My friend once said something that was one of those things someone says that sticks with you.
'Just because you love someone, doesn't mean you have to be with them.'
You do not need him back, especially considering that there is a whole wide world full of good guys that deserve a first chance, rather than taking such a risk on someone who has hurt you in the past. I think it is maybe attachment. Maybe the relationship could now turn into a friendship, if he really has changed. That is a big if though.
Even if he has, the likelihood of falling into the same pattern as before is very high, just because like anything that is routine and habitual, it has already established a path and pattern.
Have you let him know where you stand? Do you yourself know for sure where you stand? Just suggesting some things to maybe consider.
Hope it works out for the best. ~
peace. *