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Originally Posted by SlayerOfLight
It had nothing to do with my parents... The only explanation I have for myself is that I must've been a damned nazi or something like that in a past life and brought some of my former traits into this current life. I generally don't really believe in reincarnation but in this case it makes the most sense.
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What makes you think it had nothing to do with your parents?
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I normally don't like to deny people, especially without knowing their situation, but I can assure you that your development was HEAVILY influenced by your parents. It is for everyone, and you are part of everyone right? lol. Even if you didn't have parents, only guardians, that is still an influence. It's impossible to grow without being heavily influenced by our parents/guardians or lack thereof.
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I'm not gonna say this is how it happened for you. but for me I was blinded to my parents flaws for a long time because they refused to admit they ever made a mistake in raising me. The blame was always put on me. They would say they didn't like to discipline me and it was me who acted out and made them do it. they claimed it was always discipline. Ok. thats your side of the story I think to myself. I know how I felt and I felt abused. I was in pain and growing up I acted out a lot. My parents disciplined me because they thought I was mean or evil or bad, they refused to see that something was wrong with me. It was always "discipline because you are bad" and never "attention because you are crying out for help".
In my heart I knew I was acting out for a reason, but my childhood memories of abuse were repressed until I was about 15, so from 5-15 I just got disciplined as heck without knowing what was going on. My parents didn't know about the abuse so they thought I just needed discipline. I knew about the abuse sub-consciously so I felt abused when they disciplined me for acting out. I knew acting out was about getting attention to my pain, my parents thought it was some kind of game and refused to give me the attention, they just did discipline.
Over time I began to wither and the evil really took over. I've had my thoughts about being evil in a past life, thinking I was Alistair Crowley reincarnated. blah blah. they are just doubtful thoughts, nothing more.
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One last thing. There is so much knowledge in psychology that can help us to understand why we act the way we do. I believe many people think it's reincarnation because they've given up trying to figure out the real reason. They could find the real reason, but that would hurt so much, or they can believe it's reincarnation and kind of say "well, thats the past, Im here now and I can make different choices so Im kind of OK, no need to look into why anymore".
maybe that is you too, maybe not. just offering what I've learned in an attempt to help grow your understanding.