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Originally Posted by Unseeking Seeker
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Thanks Shivani! 
I was actually wondering when you’d join the party! 
The void you speak of ... the dark, living, breathing, vibrant void of nothingness and yet completeness ... in my experiential view ... is called as such because of conditioning confined to senses and that too the external polarity of senses. There is an internal polarity. All chakras too have polarities but that’s another matter.
Finally, there is through the veil, a soft yet luminous spiritual light ... a shining living light of Loving Absoluteness. I’m not labelling it ...
The key thing is this as related to what you say or for that matter merging in-form consciousness with formless Oneness awareness by Kundalini or any other way the Divine chooses as optimal, is that it’s something like falling in love with Love. Meaning, Divine grace is needed to bless the union.
While we may stand corrected by others who may like to share their view on this, your connection or my connection or anyone’s connection with Universal consciousness in any manner as projected always is ... if we are One we are never separate ... so the anxiety to consciously connect ... the anxiety itself is the blockade. A self created blockade, which we may choose to just exit ... just like that ... here & now.
The only denial is self-denial.
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You are very welcome.
It is my very love for the "formless" (arupa-rupa) which stops me from merging
with the "formless".
...it is the plight of every bhakta.
Even Ramakrishna preferred to "taste the sugar" and not "be the sugar".
Even Lord Hanuman refused to receive Enlightenment from Lord Rama.
Sometimes the merging happens, but I always know that two lovers can become one and yet still remain as "two lovers".
My problem is...this Kundalini energy within me isn't being channeled into anything constructive or productive...I simply do not know how to do that...As if "I" am really 'doing' or 'not doing' anything anyway...but even so, the energy has nowhere to go, but circling round...and around...and around...destroying all my nerves in the process.
I have tried to direct it out of the crown of my head (Saharasrara Chakra) but it will not go any further than my Third Eye (Ajna Chakra)...it is stuck there. The Rudra Granthi still blocks its passage and the only way for me to break the Rudra Granthi is to accept that I AM the very thing that I LOVE...and even with all of the vishistadvaita philosophy...All the Acintya Bhedabheda Tattwa, I still cannot reconcile this.
I also do "ground myself" often...which provides very limited relief and respite..but it is only a band aid measure.
The only thing I can do...As others have suggested to me, is to bring all of the energies into my heart space (Anahata) and hope that the same Grace that put me in this predicament can also help me find a way out of it.