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Honestly I fear there are no guarantees we'll get what we want in a next life. Also the wishing for death to rush it, well, what happens if this adds to your karma and in your next supposedly happy life you then become sick and die in an early age as your wish plays out?
I don't think there's such a thing as a female or male spirit, spirit is gender less imho, we just relate to a gender more than the other because of previous lives experiences, either bad or good.
We've talked in the past @Thedivineone and I can't really say any magic words to help you out.
But for now I sincerely wish you start to love who you are, the human, the soul, your mind,your actions and that as soon as this self love starts pouring out of your heart then love will find your way. Or maybe it has already and you haven't noticed that special someone in your life because you still can't love who you are. Give it a chance for yourself.
You'll see that you can still start you life over in this lifetime.
Hopefully when your transition is done you will feel much better.
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