Greetings David and greetings to you all.
It has been quite a while since I last posted, I enjoyed a 6 week stint in a mental hospital, booking myself in to learn 'resilience' and 'coping skills' in the face of a violent, angry and abusive world that my cultural upbringing was at severe odds with. Underneath this aloof exterior, beats a very soft and kind heart who wouldn't hurt a fly. I could not understand how we let the world get to this stage and why people feel the need to inflict verbal and physical harm on others....and why should it be that I need it to be 'brought home' into my own sphere of awareness, instead of just witnessing it on a TV screen as happening 'out there' and to 'other people', kind of desensitising society to the general prevalence of it.
Whilst in hospital, I learned the whole concept of 'not my circus, not my monkeys' and karma is pretty much indiscriminate as to who witnesses it unfold, suffice to say that I am no 'Buddha' or 'Jesus Christ' when it comes to taking on the suffering of others as my own and thus dying as a martyr to the cause. If we are to believe the Celestine Prophecy and Don Juan's 'Tales of Power', this antagonism results from individuals trying to capture the energy of others (aka 4th Insight), using it to serve their own greedy needs, totally ignorant to the fact that God provides an unlimited supply of this energy (aka 5th Insight).
I guess it took the whole dreadful plight of the human species to put me back upon my own spiritual path and served to illustrate that violence, hatred, murder etc
does have a place in this world; to make the spiritual
more spiritual and the ignorant, more ignorant, separating the species further and making the divide wider so the difference is much plainer to see to any discerning God that just happens to pass by our blue pearl in the inky blackness of space.
I have also been taking the time off the internet to write my memoirs (finished the first two chapters), writing hymns in Sanskrit to Lord Shiva and doing various self-improvement courses which have also included various shamanic drumming classes, which I am enjoying. My latest self-improvement course is called "Standing In Your Power - Being True to Your Authentic Self"...so, of course, Necro asks the question; "what if this 'Authentic Self' is Spirit/Soul/God? how does one ever be true to
that and live it?"
I was directed to read the Celestine Prophecy, which I have never read before last night, and it reminded me about all of those Carlos Casteneda books I read as a teen...especially "The Second Ring of Power"...I didn't get much out of the Celestine Prophecy that I didn't already know. It served more as a reminder than anything else.
And so, I find myself back on here, just checking in and catching up. I may/not read all that stuff Jonesboy posted about Kashmir Shaivism in the Hindu forum during my absence, because I am still rather pleasantly and blissfully 'stuck' at the awareness of Shiva existing as a separate entity from myself or my ego...even my 'Super Ego' in the Freudian sense and I am happier loving God than actually 'being' God even the whole reconciliation will, no doubt, eventually arise in me as the Goddess rises to dance with Her mate.
It is a solitary journey, this spiritual trip and when my 'vibration' is sufficiently raised, the universe assures me that my 'tribe' will appear. I just need to find the balance between behavioural tolerance and being invisible to other people altogether (aka 9th Insight)...at least now I understand
why I have appeared invisible to others up til this point. I also understand the role that eating meat plays...the stress and agony the animal feels upon slaughter playing a role in the violent and aggressive tendencies of mankind as they consume the flesh of the slain animal...not my circus, not my monkeys...
Then, when all else fails, I remind myself that it is totally symptomatic of 'Kali Yuga' and pay homage to the teachings of Adi Shankara, which helps me sleep much better at night.
Om Mane Padme Hum
Om Namah Shivay