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I totally feel you.
My path in this lifetime is as well, based on discipline and ‘parenting the self’ as so many readings put it.
This is a really hard lesson to learn, and I feel that I myself am just not be ready to do all that my soul desires. A spiritual path should feel natural. If it isn’t sometimes it’s just not the right lifetime for it.
When that happens, if that is indeed your case, you’ll have to learn to simply appreciate what you have and turn that energy inward. Take some time to simply rejuvenate yourself. Ground yourself by doing things you know you enjoy that don’t require a bunch of energy. Or give you energy. When you’ve replenished your energy store, channel it where you feel it wants to be channeled. Maybe you’ll get a second wind, maybe you’ll wind up like me and just forgo the path. I’ve been channeling my energy elsewhere.
Just do what you feel is right. Best wishes :)
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“Because to take away a man's freedom of choice, even his freedom to make the wrong choice, is to manipulate him as though he were a puppet and not a person.” --Madeline l'Engle
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