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in regards to the original question.... I started reading tons of books. ordered a bunch off amazon and just surrounded myself with it. did some googling till I found a group that does dharma talks where I live and started attending those. and generally began to consciously attempt to go out into the world from a stance of emitting loving kindness to everything and everyone I crossed paths with. that alone had a hugely positive impact on me. I have chronic severe depression and borderline personality disorder, and simply offering out loving kindness instead of avoidance or hostility lowered my emotional baseline to a place where I've since been much more successful at keeping my cool and not lashing out at people who upset or anger me. I've done years and years of counselling and various therapies and groups and etc, and nothing has helped me the way studying buddhism has. it's truly been a blessing for me.
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