Dear brother, we were not really programmed by "others," but rather we (as souls) agreed to the particular programming, the particular paradigm that we have been affected by.
The soul is ultimately responsible for its own programming. Not our parents, teachers, society, etc.
The soul.
The soul,
prior to taking incarnation, fully agrees to experience the illusions of duality, limitation and separation. This has nothing to do with what "others" believe. (That is victim thinking, blaming others for our programming.)
The soul, prior to physical incarnation, already has an agreement with the two souls that are "to be" its Earth parents. They are already selected. The soul
agrees to play the game of separation for awhile. This includes a basic agreement that yes, it will be affected by the programming of society, but in actuality the soul is really affected by its
own programming, since the personal reality that it experiences is literally a projection of its own consciousness.
In pure Advaita terms, indeed all of this play of phenomenal existence is essentially a dream within Universal Consciousness.