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Because when we dredge up old issues that we think we buried for good, a part of us can get very defensive and reactionary. We buried that part for a reason and it can open old wounds to unbury it. When you told the boy it wasn't you it was essentially like letting your guard down so the part that was buried didn't have to be on the defensive. Subconsciously this stuff is bubbling up but your conscious mind is still trying to keep the status quo which put the boy at ease. Generally in dreams the characters in it represent the different aspects of our psyche. We can be sad and angry at the same time, rational and emotional. We have many layers and they don't always work well together which is what leads to inner conflict. I suspect the buried part of you got triggered emotionally (lady messing with the grave) by something in your life, maybe some encounter, but since you weren't consciously ready to confront it, the status quo was staying the same and the buried part the little boy represents didn't have to be on guard to be confronted so your subconscious was able to relax and play. As much as there is a part of us that wants to heal there is another part that is very protective of us and the protective side can put up some resistance. That is why change usually takes time and patience.
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