I am posting this under spiritualism as this topic doesn't really fit under anything else. I wonder if anyone else is experiencing similar.

I wonder whether there might be some kind of a curse going on, but whatever it is, there is something serious going on.

I know a lot of people think they are cursed because things are not going their way, they can't get the job they want, or they can't find love. But occasionally one comes across stories from people where it's obvious there is something really serious wrong. So before anyone thinks I'm just another silly woman who just can't find a boyfriend, please read this first.

Bad luck doesn't even begin to describe what I have experienced all my life. Bad luck is in fact the least of my worries. But my experiences have been such extremes that the few people who have heard my story have either point blank refused to believe that I could have survived all that, or they thought I was fantasizing. Nobody is prepared to believe that all this could have happened to one person.

I am in my forties and my entire life I have suffered extreme abuse. By that I mean abuse of the extreme kind, I won't go into detail here as this is a family friendly forum - which I am very glad about. I also don't want to shock anyone or bring back bad memories for other abuse survivors. So let's just say, the very worst of the very worst that you have ever heard about in the media, I have experienced it. And it is ongoing. And getting worse.

Wherever I go, people hate me on sight and abuse me. I only need to walk down the road and I get attacked, stared at, talked about, followed. This has been repeatedly confirmed to me by others, including my neighbors, so this is not just my imagination. My car gets vandalized regularly. Again this can't be my imagination as each time this happens I have to have the damage repaired by mechanics. I get eggs and disgusting liquids thrown at me, I get abuse screamed at me, I get threatened, threatening messages get left on my car. Whilst this is all nothing compared to the extreme abuse I have otherwise suffered, it is nevertheless concerning as to why everywhere I go, people react in this way. And many of them go on to abuse me in more serious ways.

I am unable to find friends despite being outgoing, friendly, and always smiling at people. I have never had a relationship so have nobody to protect me. This is not by choice by the way, but nobody has ever been interested in me, despite me being attractive and intelligent. I know I said I'm not just another silly girl who can't find a boyfriend, but this is just one of the many bizarre things that are going on, and I want to explain why I have nobody. In fact nobody wants anything to do with me.

I am unable to find a job despite being well educated and highly intelligent. Sorry, don't want to show off, just citing facts. I have had all my possessions stolen numerous times as well as my inheritance and my life savings so I have ended up in bitter poverty and with nothing - despite being from a wealthy family.

Nobody has ever believed me - on the contrary, everywhere I encounter accusations upon accusations upon accusations. I have been falsely accused of all the - serious - crimes that in reality had been committed against me, law enforcement and all organizations for victims of crime refuse to support me.

I am so terrified by now that I barely leave the house, only when I absolutely have to, but even then all it takes is one phone call to someone and I get falsely accused of all sorts of things. I have no way of proving that these allegations are false as I never have any witnesses of course. By now I am so terrified of more false allegations, and the subsequent legal consequences, that I keep away from people and avoid all contact with people as much as possible.

Law enforcement have gone to such extremes as to falsely portray me as some hardcore criminal who is a danger to society. In reality I am a tiny, underweight girl, absolutely terrified, too terrified to even look at anyone, and so underweight that I cannot stand up for long without collapsing. Because law enforcement insist that I am this dangerous criminal, I am unable to report any of the - almost daily - attacks on me.

By now anyone reading this probably thinks I am some depressed failure who doesn't look after herself, spends her time sitting around doing nothing, is overweight and of low intelligence and can't cope with life. Nothing however could be further from the truth.

I have never suffered with depression, I have never had dark thoughts, I have a busy life, I take good care of myself and I want nothing more than a normal life. But this is impossible as all it takes is me stepping outside my front door and I get attacked again. And I mean this literally.

For this to happen a few times might be passed off as coincidence. For this to happen for over 40 years is clearly something else. And yes this has happened ever since my earliest childhood. I remember as a tiny toddler happily going up to mothers with babies - because I loved babies - and wanting to have a look at the babies, only for the mothers to scream hysterically "get her away from me, she is evil". Who does this to a tiny toddler of 2 or 3??? And this happened all the time - not just once or twice! I had by the way nobody to defend me - as I said, I've suffered extreme abuse all my life.

By now my body is starting to give up from the constant abuse and the constant having to live in fear.

I don't know whether this is a curse or what - I always thought only a justified curse would take effect. Apparently this is not the case.

I have tried asking various church ministers for help (I am not Christian but I asked for spiritual help), but each of them reacted in the way as described above - disbelief and accusations of me just imagining everything.

There has never been a time when I did not have to suffer extreme abuse, or when even just one person would have accepted me as a human being (except my late grandmother and my late cat - both did not survive the attacks that were directed at me). There has never been a time when I could just have had a normal life, or been able to leave the house without fear of getting attacked.

I have worked extremely hard all my life, more often than not to the point of collapse, but I have nothing to show for it as everything has repeatedly been stolen from me. Others have taken credit for my ideas and my work. And because I have nothing to show for my hard work, I suffer constant accusations of being "lazy and of low intelligence".

I am a very positive person despite all this so it's not a case of me thinking negatively and therefore attracting bad things to happen. After over 40 years of this I am however by now terrified of people. But I have retained my positivity.

I don't know what is going on here but if a solution, and an explanation, is not found soon then I don't know how much longer I can survive like this.

I would love to hear from anyone going through similar. Has anyone ever been through something like this and found a solution, or an explanation for these happenings? There can't be a "rational" explanation for this any more, not after this length of time, so there must be more to it. I have by the way lived in several different countries but everywhere it has been the same, so it's not a case of just the same people doing the same things repeatedly to me because they just don't like me.

There must be a spiritual reason for all this - but I don't know what this is, or what I am supposed to do about it.

That reminds me though - two years ago I once did a curse reversal ceremony. Maybe that wasn't the best idea but I was desperate. Immediately after this ceremony, the difference was amazing - all of a sudden I had a normal life, I was not being attacked, everywhere I went people treated me with normal respect and as a human being. I had a normal life - for the first time ever! The difference was absolutely amazing. Unfortunately this effect lasted only for two weeks, and then it gradually wore off and things became the same as before. That shows that there is something spiritual going on! But I can't keep doing such ceremonies just to live a normal life - it was a very complicated ceremony that involved things I had to order from abroad, going to certain places etc - I can't keep doing this just to have a normal life!