In my picture of reality, it is up to you what happens to you. I know two people (very well) who committed suicide. One told me through a medium that he was ok and moving on about 4 years after, the other took a lot longer, 15 or more years before he was able to say he was ok, and it wasn't that, it was that he understood how difficult he made himself to everyone and he was learning to do better.
That being said, I would never condone suicide as the effect on your family members will be life long, and sad and painful. You need to figure out why you think about this and find some way to think about living your life, being ok and loving the people who love you. So, if you decide to do this you need to remember that it is not just about you, it is about everyone you have encountered and interact with. Whether you get counseling or not, you are ultimately the one who has to figure out how to be ok.