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i'm uncomfortable in leaving you with "guesses" as a basis for going forward.
imagine the situations that you're provided with, through the circumstances
of how life unfolds, as being "food for the soul". if you are finding particular
meals of inedible material being repeatedly served up, you may have a need
to make your desires more clearly known to the chef. i suggest that you not
participate in situations which feel to be 'poisonous' to your development.
let your desires become known to the forces which serve up life to you, and
simply refuse to ingest unhealthy ingredients.
the whole dynamic may be a means for inspiring you to develop some skill
at transforming unpleasantnesses into something worthwhile. you are a
creator-being Ladyrose92; you have immense powers.
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