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Originally Posted by A human Being
Must say I see it very differently - for me, 'Why?' questions in the context of relationships are more about delving deeper, they're about creating greater intimacy.
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Very possibly, but here we're talking about a first date. "Why do you have such views?" Or why is your life like it is? etc., are to me a sign. Just a sign. Some penetrating questions may be justified - it really depends on the question and context hence some pondering may be needed.
Some questions basically let the date unroll. But if someone asked on a first date "How come you have no children?" My eyebrows would raise.
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I suppose it depends upon the context - 'Why?' questions are to be expected in a therapy session, for example - and in certain situations it can feel like you're being interrogated (I try not to shine the spotlight in their eyes too brightly  ), but they can also be a great way to penetrate to a person's emotional core, in my experience. Though obviously it's also important to respect people's boundaries, some can feel very threatened by more probing questions (I remember an ex saying to me, 'You're making me feel weird!' when I asked her why she felt a certain way about something - which spoke volumes about her own insecurities, I thought).
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Sure, they are plenty of times when "Why?" and other questions seem appropriate but again, one doesn't want a first date to turn into as you say, an interrogation. I love it that people be as they are, their emotional quirks will show sooner or later... if you can read the signs!
If it's shaped like a V I'd have a good laugh and give him extra Brownie points!
I mean, so much can be detected through changes in facial expression as the chat wanders here and there! Facial expression is the first thing to indicate emotional reactions, wired in as they are.
