|
EDIT: Can someone delete this duplicate response? I was logged out after typing and I think logging back in caused a double post.
Thank you for the replies
Information regarding Star Seeds does seems to resonate with me. Listening to people describe the characteristics or reading up on the subject, gives me chills, goosebumps and my hair stands on end. I feel a rush of energy travelling up my spine. I've always fervently believed in extraterrestrial life. At one time I was obsessed with the star system Zeta Reticuli. Long before I had any knowledge of the concept of Star Seeds. It occurs to me now that the system is a twin star system. And I am a Gemini. Could I have some intrinsic, latent connection to it?
I have great difficulty relaxing and I rarely have the luxury of breathing a sigh of relief. I feel an incredibly strong sense of something ominous and catastrophic approaching. And an equal sense of my needing to fulfil something before that happens. I dream of a star going super nova. I see the cataclysmic energy building and steadily approaching me. I feel I'm on a planet... but I can't say if it's earth or that the star is our sun. It blinds me, all turns to white and then I wake. I always read it as a doomsday prophecy, of sorts. But I wonder now, in hindsight, if it could be a memory of a prior death? I somehow know the answers lie within me. I've always been reluctant to dig too deep. Or even truly embrace any of this. I thought I would simply go insane in my search. Or that this feeling and the influence, or presence was possibly even negative and looking to do me harm.
I have definitely become jaded. I spend a lot of time researching things within human society that horrify me. And inspire me with little hope for the future of humanity. It fatigues and weakens me. I need to anchor myself somehow. I'll continue to research the subject and plan to meditate, to calm myself and perhaps reconnect with whatever energy or presence I once so strongly felt. I feel I've damaged that connection in my melancholic state. I also need to understand how to control empathy. I am overwhelmed with emotion and bombarded with intrusive thoughts when I'm around people. I feel somewhat at peace when I'm alone. Especially in nature. Though I can rarely brave the outside world to enjoy it.
Further advice, opinions or suggestions are most welcome. This is all so new... yet somehow familiar to me.
|