[A human Being]

Originally Posted by Gem

Well meditation is a purification process, as it isn't like we need to be more loving, only that we need to address the obstacles that restrict the free flow of universal love. Rather than an aversion toward such obstacles, and a craving to be rid of them, this pertains to the truth of our nature and how we restrict ourselves from the full expression thereof. We all do that to some degree of another, and we all have this sort of life issue, so it isn't a 'bad thing' - its just how human beings survive. Our recourse is to build upon that resilience, the ability to withstand the intensity of experience, without losing the plot, and maintaining that sensitive balance of the mind. In a determined practice like you describe, experience will become intense, often significant pain in the body, sometimes deep meditational states, but the practice itself is always keeping that silent observation regardless of the experience unfolding. This builds a stable equanimity, which enables the purification process. With stabler balance of equanimity, one can withstand higher intensities, so the purification can accelerate and deepen.

On the bit in bold - absolutely, it brings to mind a Rumi quote: 'Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.' So in meditation we're not trying to perfect ourselves or our experience, we're simply letting arise what wants to arise without judgment or attempts at censorship. Now of course what often arises is judgment, in one form or another, but when we're sitting in a state of equanimity we're not passing judgment on the judgment, so to speak - in psychological terms you might say that the ego is being allowed full expression without the interference of the super-ego, it's being let off its leash if you will. I watched one of Shinzen Young's video recently in which he made the point that our bodies tend to be in resistance to their own sensations, and it's this conflict that's the cause of most of our suffering - there's a civil war going on inside us (of course the intensity varies, for some it might be akin to a playground scuffle, whilst for others it might be more like a steel-cage death-match), and it's this that we address in mindfulness meditation.

Yes, you can work on the ability to maintain stillness, stability, equanimity. That's meditation. The desire to get rid of stuff (aka aversion) won't work because desire/aversion disrupts equanimity - and equanimity is the key. Hence it shouldn't matter if a block is there or not, because it doesn't. It just happens to be that way and it's the truth of 'yourself'. Of course it can't stay the same, and will inevitably change, so equanimity is the same as being at peace with change, and being at peace with change is the same as 'allowing it' - but without implying you have a choice or control over what is already observably 'the way it is'.

Well said. It's ironic that we so often struggle to change the way things are but only tend to affect superficial changes ('plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose', as the French say - 'the more things change, the more they stay the same') when as far as I can discern, real, positive change only arises as the result of an acceptance of what is.