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Would like to share my latest experience.
This shravana month was blissful, complete month all i felt all day was "Life is awesome life is beautiful" but from the end of shravana i have faced hell.
Everything was psychological mostly, was wearing rudraksha for a month but now when I wear it all I could feel was the sad mood for no reason.
All the understanding of Advaita Vedanta, all bhakti of Shiva/shakti was showering no help.
my guess is eating meat might have added effect on my mind and body but i was supposed to be unmoved in these situations.
I always thought I could pull it but unknown, reasonless, gloomy feeling had eaten me alive
I wished to burn all the gods if they were even present.
was suffering from insomnia in these days, so i had to remove rudraksha mala<wear and do japa of mahamrityunjaya mantra> and put it aside, this move allowed me lil sleep.
also chanting gayatri mantra had a very cooling effect.
I always thought no object can ever have the effect on me, if I had a grace of lord but looks like Karma makes you suffer and lord was absent.
anway stopped worshipping linga <small linga to whom I used to abhishek every day>.
doesn't feel divine but atleast i get sleep.
#Shivoham everything felt void, my last resort SELF.
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