Hello everyone. First, I am new here. My name is Caleb, nice to meet you good folks. :)
I have been avidly pursuing my spiritual path for three years and change. I embarked and began consciously "seeking" after coming to a complete acknowledgment that my mother had been very emotionally abusive. I am trying to find the inner peace that I hope to have buried somewhere in there, underneath all of the psychological and physical illnesses that have plagued me.
A few paths / sources of wisdom have highly resonated with me. These include:
- Abraham-Hicks
- Neale Donald Walsch, Conversations With God
- A Course in Miracles
What I have a really hard time is reconciling all the contradictions I hear between sources of information/wisdom that I thought I trusted. For example, in Conversations with God, "God" speaks about the cosmos repeatedly expanding out from the Big Bang, then collapsing again and then starting a new iteration. This to me was confirmation that the "insight" I had had a few months prior, wherein I imagined that that's exactly what happens, was correct. But in Gary Renard's "The Disappearance of the Universe," which is more or less touted as a great companion text to A Course in Miracles, and contains what Renard heard from some spiritual beings "Pursah" and "Arten," they tell Renard that that doesn't happen at all. In fact, *they* say that eventually time and space will cease, that we will *stop* living physical lives and just be eternally one with God, with no reason or need to experience anything else. Abraham-Hicks says quite another thing: that the universe keeps expanding and evolving forever and ever, we just keep experiencing, and desiring, and experiencing, and growing, and desiring, etc. etc. which has always seemed like it made more sense to me.
These are just a few examples. I run into all kinds of disagreements between teachers/sources I felt like I could trust. So, who *can* I trust? If all this stuff, especially the "channeled" stuff, is supposed to be coming from "spirit" or "God" or "the universe" or "infinite intelligence," then shouldn't it *all* be correct? If I can't trust all of it, it seems to me, I can't trust any of it.
Does anyone else have experience with feeling/thinking this way? I don't know what to do. Maybe some will say it's my ego mind trying to figure it out, but in response I'd say, "Well, doesn't my ego mind have a legitimate question?"