[Shinsoo]

@LadyMoth and LibraIndigo: Thank you for your support, but I have tried pretty much every method in the book. I cannot block their attempts to influence me. I can only control my reactions. Even a mass healing by a bunch of people wouldn't be able to get rid of these guys. It has to happen on a soul level, and I've never been one with my soul--it's almost as if we're two very different beings with different ways of doing things and goals we want to achieve.

@innerlight: I wish I could believe you, innerlight. You and many others who have said the same thing. But hell still happens with them around. My soul allows this to happen--and whatever she says is law--to hell with my Ego in THEIR eyes.

Yes, technically I have free will. But it's the SOUL that has free will, not me. My guides view me as nothing more but an empty vessel for the soul, my thoughts and feelings mean NOTHING to them. And that's apparently what my soul wanted in this lifetime.

She hates herself so damn much due to all her past failed lifetimes, that she is willing to allow her guides to hurt her incarnation (me) sabotage it, and make it PAY for any steps out of line, because she's convinced that HER way is the ONLY way.

My main guide is fricking militant about me doing things HER WAY--he and his brethren are like hired drill seargants trying to whip me into submission so that I do what my soul wants to do. They user fear and coercion, because my soul allows it. That's the key here and why I truly have no say in matters. My SOUL allows it to happen. I have no control over what they do to me. I can only control my reaction. I'm starting to become more resistant to them, especially since I've found something I REALLY want to do and enjoy doing. But they're still trying to make my life as uncomfortable for me as possible. They're even starting to drag in my lover, and my family.

It's bloody horrible. I honestly used to think these were some sort of negative entities attracted to my fear and doubt, but no negative entities could cause the damage these guys do. These are some high level beings capable of manipulating matter, teleportation, and other various abilities. I called on Archangel Michael before--he did nothing. Soul's wish to be treated like this probably the reason why.

There's only one guide I trust..as she never takes part in the sabotaging, and is for the most part, very honest with me. She would still rather see me on my soul's path, but she's more open to my other endeavors and seems generally interested in my development overall, not just trying to force me on a path I obviously do not want to do. She's more of the "Ok, so you don't want to do your soul's path. Show me what you WANT to do."

I wish my main guides were more like her. It's mostly because of her I am able to press on--sometimes she can be downright encouraging. o_o It's balm against my wouded spirit.

Thanks for taking time to respond, innerlight. I hope your journey has been going a lot better than mine.