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Old 23-01-2018, 05:03 PM
hellabomer hellabomer is offline
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 155
Originally Posted by OEN34
You are more than welcome.

Him being afraid of hurting you is his way of fearing rejection from you IMO. It is almost reverse psychology, although he's probably not even aware what he's doing on a conscious level.

Loreleyn talks sense; she's talking about role identity - a part of the egoic self. We all have been there and tend to do it. You meet someone, put on an act, trying to show your partner what they want to see and hear, but the curtains soon come down and the makeup comes off exposing the real identity underneath, that's when we find faults in others, complain etc etc.

But yes, he sounds scared IMO. Scared of him being rejected.

I imagine it is tough seeing him online, but stick with it and learn to accept the uncomfortable feeling of seeing him online. Worst thing is disappearing offline to avoid your fear - you'll never grow by doing that and you'll remain all cosey and warm in your comfort bubble. There's no proof he's talking to girls, this is mind chatter, so observe your thoughts, don't judge it and they will disperse.

And even if he is (which there's no proof) says more about his mindset than anything else. He perhaps may jump from one to the next, but the same pattern will emerge as he is living an illusion if that is what he does.

I know as I have been there and done it Jumping from one to the next does not solve internal conditioned beliefs.

Embracing it is key, and that's really good to hear! There's countless things on self-love online. Millions of articles and thousands upon thousands on videos on YouTube. Get stuck into one of them IMO, but perhaps be alone, learn to be comfortable alone as no man is going to fix your inner conflict, this is fact. Not permanently anyway.

Yes, I am trying to accept everything; these uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. It is hard, of course. And I cry at night. But I know that if I manage to sit through this pain instead of distracting myself from it, something beautiful awaits at the end of this dark tunnel.

And I am going to work on self-love through some videos, books and meditation practices. It's the first time I want to fully give myself a chance to live. I have battled through depression for years, and I think it's high time that I should learn to embrace this physical existence. It's a long process though, and I am a little scared of the unknown, too.
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