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It's difficult to get advice launching such a question on an anonymous forum, and even consulting loving friends and relatives, or knowledgeable professionals or gurus.
I believe that other realities / planes do exist. They aren't as we'd like now to be, but that isn't an issue because when we reach them we aren't as we're here, on Earth, anymore.
Probably the state you describe is a little unhealthy, and you should shake it off, and move on with your earthly life for now.
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