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Originally Posted by IndigoGeminiWolf
I've spent the last 10-15 years of meditation releasing resistance. I've had a Kundalini awakening and reached a point where I have felt the emptiness and bliss. I continue to "let go" and surrender and feel myself pulling inward into the absolute stillness. But my body has fears as it feels like dissolving or disappearing or like it thinks it's slowly dying.
But I'm not in a monastery. I don't work, but I have started going to a Buddhist Center just yesterday.
Is enlightenment about surrendering to the point where you dissolve back into the Quantum Field or absolute stillness? I have burned through much resistance over this last decade or so. I feel a peace inside, but I sometimes move too fast and can feel overwhelmed. When I was at that Buddhist Center, I was overwhelmed by the love and I cried.
I also have schizophrenia and bipolar which makes me hypersensitive emotionally if I had forgotten to take my meds.
Is enlightenment or liberation something you have to "try for"? Or am I doing it the right way through surrendering and trying to live by the 8-fold path?
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You keep trying yes. You do the practices, you apply them when upset, eventually your life changes and the practices change from a doing to a being.
It's not an easy path but one that is worth striving for.