[MOLA]

Hello.

Its been over a year since I've been in a relationship. After my last relationship, I've decided that I wanted to be alone for a while so I can enjoy my life by myself...and I did. This was the first time in about 6 or so years that I was alone. This was the first time in about 6 or so years that I had only myself to think about. This was the first time in about 6 or so years that I'm independent.

But there was one that I was missing; the feeling of being in love. I miss that feeling of having to sacrifice for another. I miss the feeling of being fueled by happy emotions because of another. I miss the feeling of having to care for another besides myself. I miss the feeling of having someone to hold dear besides myself.

So I started to 'get back in the game'. It's been unsuccessful of course. It seems I've lost my touch on how to connect with someone on an emotional level. There is this 'block' that actively prevents me from connecting to someone on a deeper level. I've tried to get through but so far no avail.

So all this time I've been occupying myself with work. I work 6 days, sometimes 7 days a week to pass time by while I work on becoming a better person myself. Considering the ridiculous amount of hours I make myself work, you'd think that I'd find a relationship with someone as a result from work.

There is a particular co-worker, she's new. There is something about her that sets her apart from the others. She's very beautiful but there is also an 'aura' about her that sets her apart. When I talk to her, her voice just pierces inside of this hard shell and gets me to smile. I rarely smile. Her expressions and the way she talks just softens me up.

What is this feeling? I'm trying to make sure what I'm feeling isn't because of her amazing looks. I'm trying to differentiate if what I feel is the feeling of falling in love; the feeling that I've been without for over a year? Have I forgotten what it feels like to genuinely smile at someone? Why do I suddenly care for this one woman?

Oh well, difference in her age and mine makes us both live in different phases of life.

What do you think? Sorry if the wordings are a little...weird. I don't know how to explain myself right now. I'm just happy at the thought of all this happening.